Most people believe that breaking up with the person they love is the hardest thing that can happen in a relationship. But imagine you staying in a relationship with the person you love and at the same time you happen to have lost interest in them.
For those of you who have not experienced such thing, it may sound contradictory and unreal, but it is a real thing that some couples in a long-term relationship experience sudden loss in interest in their partner but they still love them.
To be fair, there is no such thing as ‘sudden’ loss in interest. You may have come to realize it now, but this feeling has been there for quite some time. It can be possible that you know what caused this or you don’t even remember how it all started.
When you have lost interest in your partner yet you still love them, it means that your mind is not accepting them because of something that happened that is not digesting inside of you, or your goals and desires are no longer aligned with each other like they used to.
Yet, with this happening at the rational side of your mind, your heart still longs for them finding yourself attaching them to many other factors in your life. This is what I call ‘The war between love and rationality.’
Losing interest in someone can mean that whatever you do and say to each other, there will always be this gap of void that you can feel but become unable to express.
If this happened to you, the good news is that you are not the only one my friend.
So how can you know if you have lost interest in a person? Here are some signs that can help you with figuring it out.
Texting/Calling them is no longer a priority to you
We all know that in a relationship with the partner you love, all you can think of is texting them or calling them in any chance that you get throughout your day/night. Staying in touch with them most of the day is one of your top priorities.
However, when you start to lose interest in them, yes, you do wanna call them and talk to them and know how things are in their life, but it is no longer a priority. You don’t feel the same urge to reply to their messages or even message them to check up on them.
Wait! Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that having your communication slowed down between the two of you means you are no longer interested (because that is natural in a long-term relationship to have the communication lesser than how it was at the starting of the relationship).
What I am saying here is that you do not PRIORITIZE those messages or calls. Examples: you postpone replying to them, you no longer send morning or good night texts, etc.
You try filling your schedule to keep yourself busy
When you find yourself that you are trying your best to keep yourself busy all the time or even trying to pick up some new hobbies to keep yourself occupied rather than trying to look for ways to spend time with them, then it is another sign that you have lost interest in your partner.
This happens when you choose to spend more time with others or doing other things over interacting with your partner for different reasons. An example maybe that you don’t want to deal with them in the moment or that you just know that they won’t be available anyways.
You started to feel like you are more like friends than romantic partners
This is the part that most people don’t feel until they realize that they are not sexually interested in their partner or that their partner don’t excite them like they usually do. It is one thing being romantic and it is another thing feeling excited by your partner.
This is the stage where you may feel comfortable and happy being with your partner but you are not sexually excited about them like you used to be. The spark you once felt with each other is no longer there. This creates the barrier between the feeling of you being involved in a friendship over a relationship.
You no longer have the desire to argue anymore
When you love someone and have immense interest in them, you go extremes to reach a level of understanding and use any means of communication to express how you feel about something. You argue about the things you disliked and express how you truly feel about what is happening in your relationship.
However, when you start to lose interest in your partner, you find yourself not giving much attention to what they are saying or doing that will cause an argument like it usually does. If you disagree with them or hate something that they did, you will find yourself saying, “It’s not worth it.” Arguing with them will seem meaningless because of how you lost interest in them.
To keep it simple: you have just stopped trying!
You are no longer jealous
Jealousy to a certain limit is healthy and required in a relationship so it can feel real and genuine. However, if it extends and crosses the line and feels more like obsessiveness or possession, yeah…that is not acceptable.
When we are in love with a person and our entire existence (according to us) revolves around their presence in our life, then it is natural to feel jealous from certain people in their life. Not because you wanna be obsessive but your love for them can make you feel this way. Sometimes it has something to do with what they said or did in front of others.
But when you reach a point where you are no longer jealous, their presence or style of conversation with the opposite sex don’t matter anymore, where those actions no longer make you feel any kind of annoyance or anger, then it is a clear sign that you have lost interest in them.
You have started to wonder how will it feel to be single again
No matter what argument or fight you had with your partner, you will never have this thought cross your mind unless you have genuinely lost interest in them. You may think of taking a break from each other to evaluate what just happened (if it is a serious issue) but, if you still love them, you can never wonder or even imagine your life without them being in it.
You start picturing what your life would be without them in it because subconsciously, you have lost the interest of their presence in your life.
Final Words
Love is not a black-or-white kind of relationship. There will be days when you will just hate your partner because of something that happened or something they said/did, but that will never be the reason you would lose constant interest in them.
So, if you realized that you have lost interest in your partner but you still love them, it is your chance to look into what the next step should be to make things better.
Just to make it even clearer, losing interest does not mean you have fallen out of their love. It is considered to be the initial stage of walking in the path of falling out of love but it is not it.
The fact that you still want this person in your life proves that you love them. So the best option to start with is to try and figure out what is causing all this and why did you lose interest in them.
If you choose for this relationship to continue, try to find a way to resolve your lack of interest by figuring out what exactly caused it and when/where did it start. This way you can work on resolving the gap in the relationship and let yourself explore the different options you have to reignite the spark you once had.
Thank you for reading till the end 🙂
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Have you ever lost interest in your partner? How did you deal with it? Feel free to share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.
REEM SHAMS 