Unfulfilled. Lost. Unhappy.
This is how I felt three years after my graduation.
I thought that the minute I get my degree, I will have the life of my dreams. Get hired in a software company, gain as much experience as I can and finally become a Project Manager in that company. I mean this is why I got my software engineering degree, right?
But every thing went side ways for me. I was never employed in any company (let alone a software company). I stayed unemployed for three years. I had depression that had a huge impact on my mental health and emotional well-being.
When I saw my younger sister staying home for two years because my father couldn’t afford her college tuition fees, I decided that I had to do something about the way my life.
Having an idle and meaningless life will get me nowhere. I thought that what really matters at this point is me working rather than what I am working. So I decided to get whatever job I can to help dad with my sister’s tuition fees. Hence, I went back to teaching.
I became a teacher and started collecting for my sister’s tuition fees. Now she is pursuing her education and hopefully will get it done as soon as possible.
Sounds fulfilling right? It was this way except I wasn’t really doing what I am truly passionate about. This is not how I want my legacy to be.
Although my soul shines when I teach young children, it is still not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I wanted more than sharing knowledge with 7- or 8-year-old kids.
The problem was, I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew deep down that my skills and capabilities were more than merily teaching kids. My friends, my mentors, and literally every person I knew told me you are higher than just being a teacher. But I never knew what I should be looking for.
Somehow, after being depressed for three years because of how my career vision didn’t go the way I wished it could go, I started to dislike that profession. I said I will be anything but a software engineer.
And then one day, I told myself, I can’t keep feeling lost like this. I need to work on how to work on my life purpose and dive deep down in to my passion. So I grabbed a piece of paper and started working my way to understanding what I want and what possible ways can I achieve them.
The ways that I am sharing with you is how I reached to my life passion career. I have never felt this spark of excitement and enthusiasm in my life until I got myself into life coaching. I know I am on the right path to achieve the life that I want.
Although I am just starting out as a life coach, I know how much value I can share with others to help them change their life. I have my friends to second my words.
In this blog post, I am going to share with you the ways in which you can find the right path and clarity in your life based on what you truly desire.
Have a clear vision of what exactly is it that you want
I know this step may seem like an obvious thing to say, but most people want to change their life without having the vision of what they exactly want. If you are not clear about what you want and the life you are looking for, then change will be meaningless.
It is not the change that matters, it is the change you do to achieve your life vision. – Reem Shams.
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To help you figure out what you want in an easy way, you have to write the vision on a piece of paper, not just keep it in your head. Some of the questions you can ask to pin point what you want include:
- How would I define personal success?
- What are my core values?
- How do I want to be remembered?
- What is the purpose of my life?
Differentiate between thinking and overthinking
When you start planning for something new, it is natural for you to be overthinking about it. If it will work, if it won’t, the strategies or the steps required to reach this goal.
But the thing about overthinking is that it mostly leads to self-doubt and, ultimately, inaction. This is why you should differentiate between them. The minute you get demotivated to actually do something, remember that this is just the overthinking that caused this demotivation. Not that you can’t actually do it.
Ask yourself:
- Is this really a problem or am I giving myself excuses because (a possible reason that can be stopping you, like I am scared to change or something)?
- Does this problem actually have a solution or is there an alternate?
- Am I even looking for a solution or just claiming I have a problem?
Believe in yourself
When you are in the phase of exploring what you truly want, you most probably will get demotivated because of how others are more successful than you are and doing exactly what you do. Also, your best friend (or your social circle) may not be supportive at all.
But don’t let these factors demotivate you no matter what. You have to focus on your mission to change your life regardless of what your surrounding says. And, there will always be someone better and more experienced than you but that doesn’t mean you are not good enough.
Repeat these affirmations when you feel like you lost your self-confidence.
- I deserve happiness, love, and success.
- I deserve everything I want in this life.
- I believe in myself and my capabilities.
- I am motivated, positive, and confident in my life vision.
- No matter who I am, no matter what I do, no matter where I came from, I can always change, and become a better version of myself.
Never lose focus on your values
No matter what direction you are planning to take in your life, you need to consider your values. We all have some core values the are within us and very important to us. You may not have realized them yet but they do.
The only way to have a happier life where you can feel fulfilled and contented is when your core values are aligned with your lifestyle. So if you want to change the direction of your life you need to set the new path based on your values.
If you have no idea what your values are, practice this values exercise and narrow your values to the top 3-5 values.
Accept to let things go
If you are still holding on to an aspect in your current life that can relatively affect your will or mission for a change in direction, then for sure the whole process is just going to fail.
Realize that you need to let go of things that can possibly hinder you from moving forward and changing your life to who you want to become.
Try to filter your commitments by only committing to things you need to do rather than the things you are used doing. Also, adjust your emotional state in such a way that you are open to possibilities so that when you decide to let something go, it won’t affect you emotionally and reflect on accomplishing your life vision.
Surround yourself with supportive people
This is a crucial point. If you don’t have the support you need to change the way your life is going, you will hardly make any kind of change.
You are already at the edge of changing your mind because of the fear and uncertainty that you maybe experiencing. So having negative influence around you will just stop you from changing if it didn’t even drag you down.
If your social circle is not supportive at all, then try to look for people who can motivate you to do better, to embrace change for the best, and who pulls you to live the life you want to live.
Final Thoughts
Remember that no change is comfortable at first. Everything you do that is new to you may make you feel anxious and a little awkward. Don’t give in to those feelings.
By considering the points we shared above, you can make the change you want in your life that will lead you to the right direction that you want to go.
Thank you for reading till the end 🙂
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What is the one thing you want to change in your life?
Feel free to share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.
REEM SHAMS 