Do you feel like your life is falling apart and you are unable to catch up? Everything you do just turns out to have a negative outcome?
Positive thinking at this point feels like a superstition. When people ask you to cheer up and be grateful, your mind simply rejects the thought of being grateful because everything is just not right.
You keep thinking about all the negative events happening in your life and tell yourself things like, “My life is not suppose to be this way.”, “I should be doing this…” or “I should’ve been with that…” and many other negative sentences. Don’t forget the most common one for all negative thinkers, “Why is this happening to me?”
I don’t know if you noticed this but it takes a series of bad situations to happen to you until your life gets back to the neutral lifestyle. Whenever you try to recover from a grim condition another one just comes out of nowhere and pulls you down even further.
By the end of all the downfalls taking part in your life, all these bad situations just left a negative impression in your soul that is not easy to heal. So from here, your reversal to develop a positive mindset seems impossible.
Some of you feel like no matter how much you try to let go of negativity, it just doesn’t work. Even when you read a blog post about how to stay positive or listen to a TED talk about someone who came out of a misery box, it bothers you that as much as it inspires you, it is not changing your mindset about your own life.
In fact, for some people, it can enhance their negative attitude towards their life making them even more miserable. They ask themselves, “If they could do it, why not me?” Especially if their problems feel less complicated than what those inspiring people went through.
So what differentiates them from you? The support they got from their environment? I don’t think so. We all know that most warriors fight their own battles by themselves. Then what is it?
The one thing that these fighters had in common is the will power and the consistency to change into a positive mindset. They wanted to truly make a difference in their life, so they kept charging their will power and stayed consistent in doing so until they could rise again.
It is very easy for your mind to change from positive to a negative mindset, but it is a huge challenge to shift back to positivity after it is set to negativity.
No one feels good when they open their eyes to a new day with a burden on their shoulders that they can not solve. But they try to push themselves. They look for different ways to overcome their struggles.
The number one thing you should always keep in mind is that you are the only person who can change yourself. Even if you happen to go for therapy, the therapist’s first task is to make sure that you are truly willing to change your mindset no matter what, and that you are visiting them to know how to do it.
You have to know that every person’s life is a struggle. We all struggle in our own ways. I faced depression alone for three years locked up at home. No one could understand how I was feeling and everyone thought I was exaggerating.
Related Post: Am I Depressed Or Just Really Sad?
I didn’t have a job. I had only three friends that lived in the same city that I am staying in that I met annually (twice a year if we got lucky). I had no other friends here in Jeddah at all. I was at home 24/7 for three years (literally!). I can’t even drive myself anywhere for two reasons: I can’t drive and by then women were not allowed to drive here in K.S.A. We rarely had family outings too.
When everybody around me was getting their life started, my life was a pause. The worst part was I had to face the very thing that was depressing me every single day. Every day I woke up telling myself why am I even here. Social media made things worse for me when my life was already falling apart.
The only time I could take a break was when I went to Malaysia for 3 weeks with my younger sister. Even though it was quite stressful there too because I was busy trying to settle things for my little sister to start her foundation year, I could breathe. I had some alone time that helped me relax.
I would call this trip as my lucky charm. A couple of months after I got back, I finally got a job. Even though it was not my dream job, but since I love teaching so I didn’t mind it.
When I was in the dark state of mind, positivity didn’t really mean anything. I mean what could possibly be positive from staying jobless all this time. But it taught me one important lesson, patience.
Naturally, I am a patient person. I wait for things to happen. But this was a very long wait with a lot of pressure and emptiness. I truly lost hope that I will ever get a job through my qualifications and that I will ever leave my house for even a couple of hours. But here I am today, having a life better than what I had five years ago.
The main thing to keep your spirit lifted is to believe that eventually, things are going to work out for the best. It may not seem this way to you but it is true.
So what is it that you can do to stay positive?
How can I stay positive?
Developing a positive mindset can be a game-changer for you. It will make you view life from a different perspective. Even though you may not feel joyful, excited, or lively, it will make you feel contented and most importantly motivated.
Find out your why
Margie Warrell explained this point beautifully and said:
“Knowing your why is an important first step in figuring out how to achieve the goals that excite you and create a life you enjoy living (versus merely surviving!). Indeed, only when you know your ‘why’ will you find the courage to take the risks needed to get ahead, stay motivated when the chips are down, and move your life onto an entirely new, more challenging, and more rewarding trajectory.”
Without clarity, you will not be able to reach self-discovery. – Reem Shams.Tweet
Be curious about your purpose in life to figure out what can make you feel alive.
Smile at yourself every morning
This may seem silly to you at first, but do it everyday first thing in the morning. You can smile at yourself in the washroom after brushing your teeth, or before leaving your house for work. Either way, you have to smile at yourself every morning.
Don’t just display your teeth in from of the mirror and leave. Smile with confidence. Look at yourself with pride and hope. Trust me, that smile will make a difference.
Create an affirmation list
Most people create a list of 25-30 affirmations to read every morning to stay motivated. Although it is not a bad idea, I feel like you are not focusing on a particular incentive. When I read a lot of affirmations at once, I lose my focus on self-lifting.
I prefer making a list of 3-5 affirmations that I feel are more relatable to my struggles and repeat them every morning. At first, they may not feel as convincing, but when you make it part of your routine to repeat them, you will start believing in them.
Believe that this phase will pass
You are never going to stop facing struggles in life. It is part of your journey. However, remember that nothing in this life is permanent. Every painful memory fades away with time and so does predicaments in life. Keep reminding yourself that nothing is going to stay an obstacle forever.
In a few years, you will recall these days and laugh while remembering them. You will joke at the way you dwelled on these impediments today. So try to take things a little easier.
Focus on gratitude
Stop focusing on the negative things in your life right now. Instead, look for positive things and appreciate them. This way you will stop focusing on the things that you don’t have and appreciate what you have.
The best way to practice gratitude is to journal. I want you to write three things you are thankful for in a journal on a daily basis. Never go for more than three appreciations per day even if you have a long list of things to appreciate.
If you can’t come up with something to appreciate, then think deeper. It doesn’t have to be something major. You can mention simple and obvious things like having your parent(s) alive, being able to walk, waking up today, etc.
We have to start believing that everything that happens in this life has a reason. Whether we know that reason or we don’t, it doesn’t matter. If you look deeply into every unpleasant situation you were kept in, you will find an explanation of why it happened.
Every unhappy situation teaches you something. You just have to figure out what it is. – Reem Shams.Tweet
Be certain that every bad situation has some good coming out of it. It will be a lesson you will never forget that will change your life completely.
Every phase in your life has its challenges. Some challenges may be solvable while others may seem impossible to solve. But nothing is impossible. Every obstacle had its day to end. You just need to accept and believe it.
The main thing is you should learn how to react to it. Work on maintaining a positive mindset by embracing peace, gratitude, love, and self-acceptance. Train your mind to look for contentment. Even if it feels forced upon at first, with time, working for a positive mindset will be subconscious.
Thank you for reading till the end 🙂
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